So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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