keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
