So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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