is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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