so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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