just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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