u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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