its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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