Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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