ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
