I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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