she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
