Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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