He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
