The maid of honor just puked.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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