I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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