I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
