Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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