"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
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I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize