Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize