My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You made out with two different species that night
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
