Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
