I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize