Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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