Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
