i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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