It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
