she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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