So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
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There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Floor bacon is actually really good
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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