Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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