i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
