holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
