wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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