maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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