Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
