question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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