I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
