My hand turned me down
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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