At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
