i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
