I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
