Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
