I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
