Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
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I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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