big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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