He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
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this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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