So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize