Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
