She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Verdict: uncircumcised.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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