how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
