I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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