she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
