Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
