Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
