I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
