$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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