it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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