That's intense
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
